she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
