2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
