This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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