You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
