OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
