i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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