He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
