There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Can i not drive my cunt home
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
