just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
