worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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