"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
