considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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