He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
