we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
