She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
