i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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