bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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