she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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