At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Green mimosas i think yes
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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