1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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