if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
