So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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