Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
