dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
