I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
