you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize