can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize