I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
