You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize