'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
