If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
