they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Enjoy the penises
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize