just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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