I like my sex mixed with concussions.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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