The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My cat gives me a boner
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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