Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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