I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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