hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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