1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
