I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
