I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
