I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
