So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
hell yes lets make some ravioli
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
