I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
