and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
