The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
