I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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