shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
