Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have fence marks all over my body
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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