I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
