You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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