The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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