sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
