I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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