My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
