If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize